Mental Indigestion

I haven't been writing.  But I've been thinking, that's for sure....so much thinking.  So many thoughts and emotions and swirly internal funness....which the red squiggly snake reminds me is *not* a word...but I like to expand his horizons. ;)  

I have been quite overwhelmed with it all, and I am keenly aware of this, and I have a very strong suspicion it's because I haven't been writing.  So I guess it's a good platform to test out this "creativity is essential not invetible thing..."  I've taken in so much lately, reading, watching youtube videos of different peeps talking about their ideas of love and life and fear and living....I've taken in so much, and I keep thinking, "oh, I need to blog about that."  But I've also been deeply involved in the living thing, sharing and experiencing and laughing and loving, so I haven't had the time to blog.  The thing is, though, I've noticed my mind is scattered.  I keep forgetting things, I can't think straight often, and while part of me is freaked out and is ready to get tested for all manner of conditions, a deeper part of me is saying,  "shh...of course you can't think straight, you're all filled up, and you need to express." 

I guess eating is the best analogy.  You've got to eat to survive, but what you eat, how much you eat, all these things affect how well you live.  And then you have to remember that you can shove a whole pile of the healthiest food in the world down your gullet, but you still have to let your body digest.  And yes, then there's the other end of the process....but I think this is where the analogy falters.  When it comes to living and growing I think the assimilation of good occurs in the same way the releasing of bad does.  In the body, it goes: digestion, assimilation, then whatever is left is waste.  In the soul though, the "digestion" sorts it all, sitting with an experience, mulling it over...but the expression is the vehicle for both assimilation and elimination, and that's why it is essential.   

I'm feeling better already, even having this little bit of time to get some of these thoughts out feels like it's helping already.  There's still a lot more, of course, but hopefully I'll catch up to it all this weekend.  Today I'm allowing myself to do whatever.  Oh, there's plenty that needs to be done, but I'm totally giving myself permission to not do a darn thing if I don't feel like it. :) I know I'll get a bunch of stuff done, but it's more important for me to allow myself the freedom right now...so...we'll see. :)